Fifty Shades of Conclusions

August 09, 2013

It was in 2011 when I first read the trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey. Let me just say that I hardly read books. Before this, I was just recently hooked to The Hunger Games trilogy and I think for the longest time, these were the only books I finished in 3 weeks! The same friend who introduced me to THG, introduced FSOG. And in 2 weeks (mind you, it was also my finals week in college), I finished the three books.

I remembered that it was only few people who know about the trilogy. Books weren't even displayed under bestselling then. Before I continue, I wish to say that I am not defending Fifty Shades of Grey. I am clearly just sharing my two cents from reading the books.

I consider myself a fan of FSOG (Fifty Shades of Grey in case you didn't pick up). And no, that doesn't mean I am for BDSM. There is a conflicting argument about this and I feel sour seeing people react with disgust when they hear "Christian Grey" or "Fifty Shades (of Grey)". Yes, more than 50% of the book consists of sex scenes -vanilla and/or kinky f**kery but I say there is more to it than just the (one too many) sex.

So, what's more to it than those lusty sex? Well, you see I am a hopeless romantic and sucker for love stories. And I do not consider Christian and Ana's love story to be different, odd; yes, unusual; yes, conversational; very. Let me give you a quick rundown of the book.

Christian Grey is a gorgeous, hot, handsome 27-year-old billionaire. He is emotionally & psychologically closed off because of a rough start in life. Christian cope up with life through BDSM relationships. On the other hand, Anastasia Steele is a simple college girl. She was still a virgin when she met Christian. She became sexually and romantically involved with him. As the story goes on, they would fall madly in love with each other.

Here are some of the general conclusions I came up with after reading the book. Some or most might even contradict to my love for the book (refer to my post's title again when confusion kicks in):

Most of the time I would squirm out of excitement when Christian surprised Ana with his unexpected efforts. But parts of the story would also make me shake my head. For starters, Christian is highly controlling. He is very possessive of Ana. He easily gets jealous and has a very uncontrolled temper. Are these the traits of the modern ideal man? Does love nowadays equal control, jealousy and possessiveness? Yes, it's a little cute when guys get jealous, when he shows that he has you but Christian Grey has shown that emotions like needing to control, possessiveness and jealousy are all rooted in fear. There would even be times when Ana's subconscious mind would say that she's afraid of him. Tsk.

Determining the grounds of real love, I have to vouch for Ana. Christian is a difficult guy to love. Ana could just easily give up and find love from someone else. But she did not. She knew she was where she's supposed to be and what she's supposed to do. I can't speak for guys (and I'm not trying to be sexist here) but I know girls, especially me, would try and try to stay and fight for who they love. Ana was initially intended to be Christian's submissive, but she fought for how she felt about him. She waited. She had all the reasons to run for the hills, but she stayed. Was it worth it? Read book #3.

This is something I really appreciate from the book. Both characters showed great amount of effort for each other. Christian has raised my standards from guys when it comes to effort (argument #1, my post title is very apt for this). No, I don't expect a guy to fly me in a helicopter or to send me first editions of books I love (er, I don't read books lol) or to give me a Macbook and/or a BlackBerry phone but I believe that people who want to make things work out need to put in equal amount of effort to it.

In all sorts of ways. And no I didn't need Fifty Shades to realize that. Bam!

When Christian goes 'dom' on Ana, he insists her to use a safe word (to stop any harsh sexual activity at once). In one of their first few (sexual) encounters, Ana tried seeing how far she can go and didn't safe word. As an effect, she was overwhelmed and walked out from him. Christian is blaming Ana for not using the safe word and claims he can't trust her. Communication in a relationship is very important. Couples should determine what and how they should go on with their lives together. Don't be afraid to consult your partners. Be open and be comfortable with one another.

My point is not to give "justice" to the book because for people who think it's rubbish, their opinions can't be changed. I am a fan of the book and since 2011, nothing has changed in my outlook as people claimed that the book is a bad influence. So to end my post, I leave you with this thought:

If the book didn't have BDSM in it, would you see it differently?

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