Sober Thoughts

August 11, 2013

For Filipino readers, or those familiar with the Nikki-Billy breakup, this post would somewhat revolve around it.

I haven't really watched the whole interview of Billy Crawford but as what I read online he basically had to end the relationship because he wasn't the man he thought he is in the relationship anymore. And because of that, he needs to find himself. When I heard about this, I was like "Oh come on! Really? After investing on an emotional relationship for years you'd give that kind of crap? Really?" Don't get me wrong, I am nowhere near man-hater, but I really just couldn't understand them, men. Probably the bitterness is coming from a past experience I have yet to move on from.

Yeah, so anyway, last night I was out with some friends to have one of those "chill nights" at Clarke Quay, a famous place for nigh life here in Singapore. Few hours after, we noticed that the group next to us were Filipinos. Yeah, you know the drill, chit-chat, extend the space for the new ones.. Bam! Bigger group. After a while, 3 out of 5 from the new group left early so the remaining two guys stayed with us. Conversation topics got more interesting until the very topic that will always be present when there's an alcohol came up-- love life.

I found out that these two guys just came from recent breakups from their not less than 5 years of relationship! Bummer, right? Of course, there will always be the question of "What Happened?!!" Surprised and stunned with what I heard, he said almost similar things I've read from articles written about Billy Crawford. He said, and I quote, "I guess I need to find myself, alone. You know? Like if you want to take it to the next level, you have to know if you are still the same person. If you're becoming a better person or you became worst." I knew it would be a good time to ask some things that are bugging me so I shot at him "Did you promise her anything? Because you know, when you say you need to find yourself,  that's not the same as, well, breaking up. It's like you're just telling her "wait, I have a mission to accomplish, wait for me."." He answered "Well I told her I'll talk to her when I return."

See? Isn't that too confusing for us girls? I don't know. I somehow understand the reasons,  fine, you win there. But what I don't get is why prolong a woman's agony by not being upfront about things? I guess we'll never really get to understand men, and vice versa (I said, VICE VERSA, I'm no sexist here! lol)

Well today being my full 24 hours of sobriety, I realized several things from the past two days I've been "out":

1. If they love you, they won't prolong your agony. They'll give you a one shot pain which you may or may not understand, but trust me, it's for your own sake.
2. If they leave, they may or may not return to you. If they do, they will NEVER be the same person before.
3. And I quote my (new) friend "Your happiness may be a bitterness to others."
4. Alcohol is a major backstabber! You don't feel the kick at first until you end up sleeping on your own mess (true story, eeeeew)
5. Alcohol is fun, but very temporary.
6. You get to say your real feelings with alcohol. Even without, you'll just be more confident lol
7. It's great to have friends around.
8. Enough is enough! For both alcohol, and you, my dear ex. 
9. The world is big, go meet new friends. On the contrary, the world is also too small to realize you're friends with a common friend :)
10. And last but not the least, it's okay to cry, sulk, scream and shout when you're sad but after you empty yourself from all the pain, stand back up. You are stronger than you think you are. WHAT YOU ONLY ALLOW WILL BE THE ONES THAT WILL CONTINUE.

Laters xx

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