You're My First 'What If'

November 16, 2019

I wanted you to be the one. I wanted to see where this goes. But you gave up on me, you gave up on us. I know, that's too selfish of me to want you even when it's obvious that's not going to be reciprocated.

It's been two weeks and I'm still pretending I'm okay. I think about you a lot even when I try so hard not to. I later found out that the more you consciously fight it, the more you think about it.

I regret a lot of things in my life. With you, I regret not telling you enough how great you are as a person. I regret letting you see the dark days when I could've spent those positively instead. You didn't give me a chance. I had plans.

I can't stop thinking about you and I wish I could literally scoop it out of my mind! I want to stop missing you. I want to stop wondering how you're doing. I want to stop caring too much.

They said time heals all wounds. What if time stops, and it never heals?
They said it gets better. What if it doesn't?
They said some day, one day, I'll move on. What if it takes too long?
They said someone's better out there for me. What if you were my only shot?
What if? What if?

What if I was right about us?

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